I went ahead and set all
the radio stations for you.
Hope you like music
that kicks ass.
And I hope you like one
solar system, under Gibbs,
indivisible, with liberty
and justice for fucking nobody.
Eh, I could take it
or leave it.
[Laughing]
Slow your roll, Gibbsy.
I get Hammerschmiddtt Motors,
you get the robot.
That's the deal.
Oh, Troy.
So sentimental.
I risk my ass flying daddy's
inventions my whole damn life
and he gives the keys to
the corner office
to my stupid sister?
Ain't. Happening.
Do I get a pwesent too?
Aww, you can have
any dolly you like.
Grrr.
I'm gonna need a black eye
or something.
Gotta pretend I put up a valiant
struggle.
I thought I'd leave that to
the solar system's greatest
assassin.
That's me!
[Blows landing, grunting]
Jodi!
You can't just arrest her!
We can't?
Did you hear that, Barry?
The rule of law is null
and void!
Chaos rules supreme!
I'm gonna spray-paint my name
on the Pope!
I'm gonna fill my convertible
with raw hamburger
and drive to the mall naked!
Jodi, I'm sorry-
I'll be alright, Willie.
Thanks for being my friend.
I'm gonna dig up
Marilyn Monroe, turn
her ribcage into a xylophone
and play show tunes!
Oklahoma!
I'm gonna pee in a bottle
and mail it to a bear!
Palmer, we've got to do
something!
Did you hear that, Sasha?
Free Will is null and void!
But Jodi's our teammate!
Not if we don't have a team.
Here's to the end
of Titan Maximum!
I hear 2010 was a very
good year.
Admiral!
You need to see this!
It was Gibbs...
he had the access codes.
I didn't stand a chance!
Ha! Troy's such a putz!
Hammerschmiddtt was quickly
awarded the medals of honor,
freedom, valor, unity...
What?!?
Fuck that shit!
See? That's what you get
for kicking us to the curb,
Admiral jerkass!
Okay, minimum-wage monkey
wrench guy, change of plans.
We're off to save
the solar system while you guys
go over there, out of my way,
do whatever you want to do.
I don't know, tighten
each other's nuts.
Sorry, sir,
we have our orders.
Seriously? Okay, you really
better get outta the damn way.
Or what, sir?
Oh, I hate to be rude, but
there's something in your teeth.
What?
My fist!
The Megamum robot is
cutting down the military
with ease!
Incredible destruction!
Please take me back to
the hangar!
We have to get back to Mercury,
it's the only hope they have!
Yeah, we could do that, but
yeah, we're not gonna do that.
Maybe if you wished real
hard, it would happen.
BOTH: Wish! Wish!
[Jodi grunts]
How about a fist-head
screwdriver? Ha ha! Get it?
What do we do?
Should we help?
Bounce, motherfucker,
bounce!
Uumm, let's fix
the ships instead.
Okay, guys, you're doing this
wrong!
I can only punch one of you
at a time!
Pfft.
You missed his crotch.
MAN: My toolbox!
I'm re-encrypting our command
codes so Titan Megamum won't be
able to override our controls
again!
You might be wondering how
I accomplished this.
Sweet crackers, nothing
puts me to sleep like
the sound of your voice.
I take that back.
Hand jobs.
Guys, I'm so sorry for what
I did.
I betrayed your trust,
and even if I apologized
a thousand times...
aw, pish-posh applesauce,
Jodi.
Apologize for what?
Leaving us to drown
in unwashed rednecks on Eris
while you got kissy-kissy
with the Duke of Dickbags?
Or was it backstabbing the team
while a homicidal maniac
stabbed you from the back
with his love-sword?
I certainly don't need
an apology, do you, Sasha?
Hey, you know what, Palmer?
You and your stupid brother need
to back the hell off!
Wait, what?
But I didn't...
I've slept with plenty of
people I shouldn't have,
and yeah, statistically
a few of them must have been
homicidal maniacs.
I mean, do the math.
So if you're gonna keep
holding this over Jodi's head,
you might as well kick me
off the team, too!
Wow... thanks, Sasha...
[mocking] Oh, wow,
"Thanks, Sasha!
Duuurrr!"
I'd rather bathe in a tub
of my own hot vomit than get all
chum-buddy with you, Grody,
but if there's anything
in this life that I stand behind
one hundred freakin' percent
it's the right to sling your
vagina around any damn way
you see fit!
Okay, okay!
Report, General!
Where's he going?
He's headed for the caloris
solar shield generator,
Mr. Homeowners' Association
President.
Robots!
Shoulda banned 'em years ago!
Tin in the shape of people!
Bad idea!
Making 'em walk and fly?
Worse idea!
Say... why isn't that son
of a bitch flying?
Because as long as he stays
on the ground with that bomb
we can't even dream of shooting
at him.
Clever.
"Clever"?
You gonna stop him or blow him?
Mobilize the generator's defense
personnel!
That'd be Phil.
PHIL: [Snoring]
[Farts] Huh?
What's that?
One man?!?
The shield generators can
withstand anything!
We don't even need Phil.
If the solar shield loses
integrity, it'll be like kissing
your sister... if your sister
was the fucking sun!
He'd have to enter
the generator to do any real
damage, and the only way inside
is through the energy beam!
There's no way he or the bomb
could survive those
temperatures!
Yes, no way at all.
Unless, of course, he had
a robot specifically designed
to withstand those temperatures,
and a bomb outfitted
with an insulated coil...
Oh wait!
He does!
You may now commence the utter
and total crapping
of your drawers.
He wasn't kidding about
those drawers.
To mark such a historic day,
we should give these
news jackals a photo op
worthy of the front page!
That's right, fools!
Remember this moment forever!
Clang!
You idiotic spunk buckets!
I was holding a freaking nuke!
Well, now you're holding
a one-way pass to
my-foot-in-your-ballsville!
Gah!
I always knew you had your
head up your ass, Palmer...
Now let's see your robot
do the same thing!
Willie!
I thought you fixed this!
Hang on!
I'm adding processor power
to my counter-code!
Please tell me our robot's
head is not about to go
up its own butt.
WILLIE: It's working!
High five!
Oh. Yeah!
Well well...
Puppy learned a new trick!
Dude, you suck and your plan
is dumb.
Um, whatever it is.
It's simple.
I'm charbroiling a billion
grandparents.
Genocide, Gibbs?
You can't mean that.
Genocide?
Pfft.
Please, the median age
on Mercury is 85!
It's more like euthanasia!
But-
I want control of the whole
damn solar system...
all of it!
If anyone ever doubts that i'm
serious as hell, they can
remember the french-fried
remains of all these
grannies and grampies.
Deny me what I want,
there will be consequences.
Willie, activate all
our awesome crap!
Uh, okay. Hold on.
[Stammering]
Yeah!
Yep. Okay.
Plan B...
Run like a bitch!
[Lasers firing]
Palmer!
Fall back immediately!
Reinforcements are on the way!
Don't screw this up!
Too bad, Admiral, that's
exactly what we're gonna do!
We're the Cavalry now!
[Footsteps approach]
Not on my watch,
ya big metal galoot!
[Fading] This still beats
alzheimer's!
Air my naked ass on TV,
I'll take your head and put
the crack on your face
to beat your ugly skull
[gibberish]
Damn.
Your grandparents are about
to turn into human briquettes,
and I really, really want you
to live long enough to see it.
But you idiots make it
so damn tempting to kill you!
Hoooo!
A lot of my dates
end this way.
Yeah.
[Crash!]
I think...
my shin touched my ear!
So long,
you ridiculous assho...!
Well, I think we proved
our point.
We can't give up!
We've got to go after him!
I'd rather die on my way
to kick somebody's ass than
die waiting around
with my thumb up my butt
like Jodi on prom night!
Yeah!
Bitch!
Willie, what are the odds
Maximum could make it
through that beam
without all our genitals fusing
into glass?
Um... zero percent.
Zero zero, or "I'm a wah-wah
sissy baby and I want my blanky
and my baba" zero?
Which one? I'm just curious.
Well, if we take into account
the thermal conductivity...
number!
.003%.
Sweet.
Titan Maximum!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaggh!!!
PALMER: Well, Mamo and Bampo
had a good life.
Who wants to go get a corndog?